A Complaint By Any Other Name

plus E. Jean, Nicole Kidman, phones, and some isolation vintage!

Welcome back to The Complaint Line. No gripe too small, or too petty. Have something to say? Our lines are always open.

Before we get into the latest round of grievances, some updates:

I wrote about phones for Town & Country and Nicole Kidman for Bustle. BONUS: To mark this weekend’s Belmont Races, and golden oldie from me about my greatest summer job.

I saw the Ask E. Jean documentary the other week, and in the middle of it received a NYT alert that the Justice Department is reopening its “investigation” into E. Jean. The film is very much worth your time. E. Jean is both incredibly impressive and incredibly complicated in the way that so many women who survived and succeeded professionally in the second half of the 20th Century are. It is also a powerful, you could not make this up, distillation of our current era.

Starting around noon, I’m running a little mini closet sale on my instagram. On offer will be a few vintage pieces purchased during the height of isolation (and social life fantasizing) during Covid, which have never made it back outside. There’s some Issey Miyake, YSL, and a coat that Kate Moss once wore (not the actual coat, but otherwise the same), also a pair 1930’s silk beach pajamas (lol). I rarely let go of my clothes, but clothes are meant to be worn, and they should not be wasting away in my closet! These pieces represent me doing a thing I try not to do, which is shop for a life I’m not leading (but was understandably dreaming of leading while in lockdown!). A reminder of just how isolating those months were. If you are a higher end vintage hound these might be of interest to you.

And now some complaining!

The Dhaka Airport in Bangladesh. Photo courtesy of Sarah Krasley.

Why is my soy milk creamer now $8! Ffs. I am so tired of the food mega whatever and constantly having to think about every penny I need to spend on food. No, I don’t want to drive around to six stores for sales and deal. Screw the tariffs, large grocery industrial complex, and whatever tiny men are in charge of it. Give me back my $5 soy creamer you bastards!

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My complaint is specific to one friend but it extends beyond just her. For about 15 years she dated very purposefully and complained about no one committing to her; then she found a totally great guy. Then she complained about not getting married, and then finally they got engaged, and then she complained about having to plan a wedding (which her family paid for). Then she complained about her in-laws. Then she complained she couldn’t get pregnant, and then she finally got pregnant, and complained about being pregnant. Then she had the baby and complained about motherhood. Then she wanted a second kid and that didn’t work out and I felt legitimately bad for her because it was pretty sad. Now she complains about her one beautiful healthy child, her happy and kind husband. Perhaps my point is: stop asking me to hang out when you complain about your life and act like my (single/child-free/content) situation is somehow unfulfilling!! I don’t complain about my life! I like it! I don’t want to use up my precious weekend coffee-hang time listening to a person who has no idea how good she has it!

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My husband was supposed to go out of town this week to visit his mother, and I had to stay home due to work schedule. I was sooo looking forward to having some me time. Well , now the husband is on crutches due to an over-training stress fracture and isn’t traveling, so I don’t get the house to myself, and have to cater to the whims of a couch-bound manbaby.

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I know that it is deeply unpopular to be judgemental about women's choices about whether or not to have work done on their faces. I know I am a hypocrite because I believe in a woman's right to choose what she does with her body: BUT. (And I am a brand new reader so I truly hope this does not offend you). For the record, I will be 63 on the 13th of this month. I am irritated BEYOND words at women whom I admire and respect, who are self avowed feminists in the public eye, who choose to have facelifts/surgical procedures. I know that for actresses, it may be a matter of being able to work. However: young women in their 20s are getting baby botox, and it seems every woman over 30 doesn't have frown lines - just weird shiny smoothness over their eyes. We need role models who can tell these young women: save your money (those with the money to throw away, that is), love your faces! F**k the Beauty Industrial Complex! THANK YOU.

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I am so mad I was fired or terminated or whatever last summer by a bunch of idiots. It’s stunning. Our health care and research systems need the kind of expertise I have that I brought expertly to the role. I was well paid and did a great job and they still decided to eliminate my role. Now the remaining staff are suffering and on various leaves or have left and the whole thing is going down the sewer. I loved my job and I loved earning my keep and while I am actually glad to not work there ever again bc of the leadership, I am mad it happened the way it did and they can all go to hell. Phew that feels good to say!

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I (American) recently moved from Germany to Spain and am working remote for my German company but they have been SO HORRIBLE at setting up my new contract!! There has been little to no communication throughout this process, and things keep getting delayed to the point where I am missing paid working days waiting for progress and nobody is talking to me! Then out of nowhere they'll say something like "oh, and in your new contract you'll see that you have 3 less vacation days" without explanation, until I ask and they say "well, Spain has more public holidays than Germany" despite the fact I've already missed 3 paid public holidays waiting for THEIR delays! Why is everyone so horrible at communicating things in advance, and/or keeping me up to date??

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I spend a week in March in France (Nouvelle-Aquitaine), and the following week, took my daughter to see a play (Hamilton) at a theater in Chicago. My daughter and I dressed up; for us, part of the fun is putting on a pretty dress and nice heels, and hitting the town. To be clear, I'm not someone who overdoes it on fashion or makeup, but I do like to present myself as casually elegant as I can at nicer events, work, etc.
As we settled into our seats, was suddenly struck by how poorly the men my age dress here: Pretty much like toddlers: khaki pants, crummy comfy type shoes or sneakers, a crumpled shirt of some sort, a weathered jacket. There were maybe two men in our seating area wearing a shirt and tie at least. The others looked like they were settling in for their kids little league game. Mind you, this is a very nice, fancy, historic theater. I feel that (midlife) womens' health, wellness and appearance is just not matched by male peers here in Chicago. Meanwhile, in France, I felt like I encountered so many men that were so well put-together and overall casual/elegant even sitting at a café and having a coffee-it felt so refreshing. Am I imagining that men in the Midwest - or is this happening in NYC, too?-just dgaf about their appearance anymore? Was I just romanticizing France and the change of air that made so many men there- of all ages, even elderly men , but specifically men ~50s- seem 1,000x more elegant?

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I hate the current diet/skinny/looksmaxxing culture. I am big and curvy and luscious. I love my love of my body! I am damaged (tho healed now) by my family’s constant diet culture addiction and my sister has serious health problems directly related. Lose weight if you like but stop talking about it! It’s sooo boring. Why why why!!!